6 Stories

Little Pickles
Ljusja Petrova loved her pickles more than anything else. She frequently stepped out onto her stairwell and began to sing: „Oh, you my little pickle, my sour little pickle.
The artist Nikolaj lived in the neighborhood, he was always painting landscapes in his shed, so that he could then sell them. But for some reason no one bought them.
One day he got sick and tired of the little song.
He got up early in the morning, went into the garden and painted all of the cucumbers red.
No one really knows what happened between them after that. But
Nikolaj is often seen at the Danilovsklijmarkt with a barrel of pickles and it is said that Ljusja Petrova has an exihibition in New York-Soho.


A dad gave his son a balloon, a very beautiful one. The boy went out into the yard to blow it up, but can´t tie a knot in it, he just doesn´t manage.
Then an old grandma comes along and says: „Ay jay, little one, come on, I´ll help you.“
And gropes around on the ballon with her bent fingers until it finally bursts.
At first the boy is completely confused, then he pulls himself together and spits in the grandma´s face.
Amazing how much cruelty really is in children!

Sherschee la Fam
Well, that was in May, when everything blooms.
A man took out a loan in the bank and gave half of it to the gangsters, like planned.
Everything´s O.K.!
He comes home and there is a note on the table.
„Saschok! I´ve left you. Because your feet always stink and at night you snore like a pig. So long,Ljusja.“
„Well, money doesn´t make you happy“ - Sascha thought.
„What a scherschee la fam.“

Good Mood

By the way, there was such a story recently!
A man was in a good mood, and in the subway he went up to another man and sang in his ear:
„The good mood will never leave you again...“
And the other man suddenly hit him in the face.
That´s the way it goes. Good mood.


A man wanted to piss, it was already late, almost night, and it was outside. He disappeared into a corner, went to a little house and started to pee.
But the house was electrified and the man got shocked from the stream, he even jumped in the air.
And now every time he pees, smoke comes out of his dick.
Oh no, I can´t go on – isn´t that strange!

Thank You to a Friend

A man had familiar problems. What problems? Well, like these- his wife was silly and annoying. Scandals, always arguing, sometimes he hit her, but only a little, just to teach her a lesson. To make it short, it was all for nothing, he was finished with life. So he decided to get some advice from a friend about how he should go on. He bought a bottle of wine and they met. He told him his whole life story, the short and the long of it, showed his deepest self, made it all public so that it would be easier for his friend to give him advice.
-O.k. pal, what do you have to say? - asked the man finally.
-What else, of course, get a divorce - then he thought about it and added:
-Maybe I should get a divorce too?
-You´re crazy, your Ljudka is a super woman, quiet as a mouse, does everything, and think about your Vasjatka.
The funniest thing about it is that shortly after the friend really did get a divorce, while to this day the man lives with the pain in the neck and it functions to some extent.
Admittedly, they are constantly arguing.